Hmmm...after 8 years of homeschooling I decided that that is not really what I've been up to all these years! As I've watched the 2 amazing, unique creations that God has allowed me to spend the last 14 and 10 years getting to know, enjoying, and preparing for life I had a realization! I've been "HEARTSCHOOLING"!
As I watch my 14 year old son venture out into the world, my biggest concern is, "do I have his heart, is God the One he turns to when dad and I aren't around?" It's not "boy I hope he's got a great vocabulary" or "I hope he doesn't forget his math facts". While those things are important and key to his ability to provide for a family and have personal success, they pale in comparison to the reality of his eternal destination and ability to stand in a wicked and perverse world!
I guess I've "lived on the plant long enough" (as my mother used to say) to see that I can't see what lies ahead as clearly as I'd like to or once thought I could! I had no idea that that gorgeous little baby boy with the head full of fragrant dark brown hair would turn out to be who he is. I honestly couldn't have dreamed him better, but I have done my share of fighting God about some of the bents my son has. Understanding "train up a child in the way he should go" has been one of the best gifts homeschooling has given me! I had a pretty good idea about who I thought my oldest was going to be. You see, he's a lot like me and yet so completely himself...strong-willed, gifted, passionate, creative, AMAZING! Yet my aspirations for him almost lost his heart to me. Allow me to explain.
I have a degree in education but couldn't stand the thought of someone else teaching my son, much less being apart from him all day long. Still, I dutifully drove him to kindergarten every day that 1st year despite considering homeschooling since before his birth. When we moved just a couple miles up the road but out of city limits, the small town school would not let him finish out the 2 months left of this all important 1st year of school under the teacher he had come to love. I was furious and refused to start him in a new school in April! Thus began the journey that God had to coax me into a bit.
With that journey came all the "education" I received and my poor little blessing and 1st guinea pig got it alright. Three curriculums later (oh, yes three as I tried the gamut of textbook, literature, and activity based studies) he was reading well and becoming quite the little man. As my easy to teach one (I have the spectrum here, too!) I immediately began projecting ideas of grandeur concerning his educational and professional future. We lived in a rural setting, joined 4-H, and were very active in church. He excelled in archery, enjoyed guitar, and wanted a horse...my sweet little country boy! Then we started the private school.
A pre-baby dream of mine had been to start a Christian day-school. The concept was to have a half day of academics and a half day of practical country living/outdoor skills. Well, I had a few friends and church body members who had asked me over the years, in a half joking manner, if I would homeschool their children for them (heard that before !?) as they were single parents, the only able bodied provider of the family, or felt completely inadequate to homeschool their children. The dream and the need seemed to come together with the support of one such friend in particular when our church wanted us to start it there. To make a long story a little shorter, my beautiful son fell prey to older peers and a mom who was far to busy creating, administrating, and teaching a one-room schoolhouse with little or no help.
Now ladies, if I was homeschool advocate before, I am now a homeschool activist! When God finally brought me back home three years later, I was a different woman with different kids! My then 8 year old was relatively unscathed, but my 12 year old was wounded deeply. I have spent the last 2 1/2 years tending to his heart. Academics took care of themselves really, we are privileged to have such outstanding resources these days. But only his father and I with God's divine intervention could fix the wreckage.
I cannot truly say whether my oldest's interests have always been a part of who he is or were acquired to some degree in the tumult of peer pressure I threw him into, but I had actually voiced (do you believe it) that 2 things I would never allow my kids to do were rock & roll and skateboarding. Guess what...yep, he spends most of his free time practicing on his electric guitar or skateboarding. My cute little cowboy is now this handsome, super cool, artistic whirlwind of personality, creativity, and physical energy. I fought these things for a while, but God finally got through to me to share my heart with my son regarding why I was concerned about those 2 past-times in particular. Over the last 2 years we have talked through fashion, hairstyles, dating, reputations (we say 'labels'), culture and peer influence, and Who the standard to measure it all by is.
My hubby and I are getting much better and talking with our son rather than at or to him and he's had several opportunities out from under our wings at youth events and staying with friend or relatives to put into practice all we have learned together. Has he stumbled, of course, but these have been opportunities for us and him to see the weaknesses in his character and holes in our training that need to be addressed, prayed over, and strengthened. As my wonderful husband says, "the measure of a man is not in the mistakes that he makes, but in how he gets up". Accepting personal responsibility for his actions, gracefully enduring consequences, righting wrongs that can be, relying on God for discernment and strength...these have been some of the lessons of the heart that have transformed my son, me, our family, and our homeschool goals.
God truly does "work all things to the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose"! I believe that had the private school not happened I would have been a less flexible, attentive mom than I am now and my son's character would not have been tested and strengthened the way it has. As only God knows the beginning from the end, I've come to practically trust that He is better able to equip my children for their call in life if I am listening to Him, to them, and am teachable.
I pray that you will rest knowing that curricular choices are not as critical as the time you spend getting to know your kids, turning their hearts to their Creator, and going before the Lord for them. Take time to cuddle (my 14 year old still hugs and kisses me several times a day!) & relate everything throughout the day back to talking to God for help and fellowship (prayer), acknowledging that every big and little blessing is from Him (praise), and finding out all we need for life in His Word (practice)! You can't go wrong!
Happy Heartschooling!
