Heart Treasures

Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. Luke 2:19

How could Mary grasp the magnitude of her calling? To raise, nurture, train, & educate the very son of Jehova, to protect & prepare God in the flesh...and I thought the task of preparing my children for their unique calling was daunting! WOW! Twice the scriptures tell of her simply treasuring and pondering. This seems to be the "be still and know that I AM God" of motherhood!

We all have our interesting and complicated circumstances in which we bring our children into the world. God in His humor and wisdom never really lets us be "prepared". Besides, no matter how many trillions of humans have passed through the very same threshold or season before us, we have no way of knowing what it will be like to be there until we step through ourselves! Try telling a bride to be that her groom one day will not seem as perfect as he does now or a new mom to be about those late night feedings making her feel like she's lost her mind. You might as well be talking to the wall (remember when, ladies). Wisdom is lost on the young and inexperienced it seems, yet I suppose that wisdom is perhaps less a commodity to be obtained and more a taste to be acquired.

For all of the advice that is to be had about marriage, children, & homeschooling, it really is a right of passage we all must go through to find that "the way we do it" comfort zone. Who of us didn't Google "homeschooling" only to find a plethora of articles on educational philosophies, curricular approaches, learning styles...ad nauseum. Yet the best "educational" study you can do is to treasure and ponder the individuals God has placed in your safekeeping. Their one-of-a-kind personality will shed more light on what kind of materials, setting, and experiences each one needs to be prepared for what only God knows is in store.

I figure the things we can be relatively sure about preparing our children for is marriage, parenthood, church/community service, and work either within or outside the home. I have two boys at home so naturally we have a decidedly masculine environment that emphasizes those qualities that make for a godly husband, father, & leader. However, preparation thus far has been as night and day as my boys.

Morgan, my oldest is an outgoing, never met a stranger, artistic, bold, goofy "happening". He fills the room with his presence and is never at a want for something to do. Book smarts come easily for him and he is rather independent. Basically, I give him his school work, he finds a place to lie down, play some praise music, grabs a snack, and self navigates. He just needs accountability and materials. He was and is the perfect test child for curriculum!

Now for Brett, my youngest! He is so different yet equally amazing. The first time he smiled it lit up the entire room, and it still does! He is my cuddler, homebody, sweetheart. He likes me to be right there beside him all day for school and likes to talk about and interact with all that he learns. God knew exactly what He is doing when he gave me these boys in the order He did You see, severe learning delays run in both my family and my hubby's family and my darling youngest got it from both sides. I am so grateful to God that I had grown up with a father and brother who had similar struggles as my hubby and Brett and I am even more thankful that He persuaded me to homeschool!

The teasing, bullying, cruelty, and labeling that those so dear to me had to endure and that to some degree still scars them today is something my youngest has never had to experience! Sure he know that others his age and even younger read better than he does, we are your average overly social homeschoolers! Still, I have been able to sow into him that everyone is different, amazing, and made in God's image! Besides, there are 7 different kinds of "smart"; language, spatial, logic/math, body movement, musical, social, and self. Each of my wonders exhibit different kinds of intelligence.

Brett is amazingly detailed oriented and observant. My artistic doesn't like to and is not especially adept at doing dishes, vacuuming, dusting, or anything else that requires he be especially attentive. Brett, however, doesn't miss a thing and does a better job than his bigger brother! As we read aloud as a family, he has a vocabulary far above his age peers and never ceases to amaze me with the discernment and sensitivity he shows regarding others be it passers by or people we know.

I am so excited to watch him become the young man God has created him to be. He's 10 & 1/2 and beginning to have his own ideas and thoughts about how things should go. This stage scared me to death with Morgan as I worried that him having his own ideas was rebellion (thanks Mo for surviving yet another 1st child mom panic period).

Now, I am more at ease and in wonder of the steps that it takes a boy to become a man. Watching the gentle, loving spirit that is Brett blossom into more than I could have dreamed or imagined. This summer he uttered words that can only happen in homeschooling and that I will treasure and ponder always, "Mom", he asked, "do you know what my favorite subject in school is?" "Math", I said as it comes so much easier to him. "No, reading!" he said jubilantly. Tears still come to my eyes as I recall that miraculous moment. Brett reads at a 2nd grade level (right on target for the family delays) and I have seen my biggest job to make sure that he loves reading despite how difficult it is for him as it is the key to all learning. Many hours of cuddling, reading, helping, and comforting have paid off...perhaps more in the memories that I'll have of them than anything else!

Happy Heartschooling!

Am I Schooling a Physical or Spiritual Location?

Hmmm...after 8 years of homeschooling I decided that that is not really what I've been up to all these years! As I've watched the 2 amazing, unique creations that God has allowed me to spend the last 14 and 10 years getting to know, enjoying, and preparing for life I had a realization! I've been "HEARTSCHOOLING"!

As I watch my 14 year old son venture out into the world, my biggest concern is, "do I have his heart, is God the One he turns to when dad and I aren't around?" It's not "boy I hope he's got a great vocabulary" or "I hope he doesn't forget his math facts". While those things are important and key to his ability to provide for a family and have personal success, they pale in comparison to the reality of his eternal destination and ability to stand in a wicked and perverse world!

I guess I've "lived on the plant long enough" (as my mother used to say) to see that I can't see what lies ahead as clearly as I'd like to or once thought I could! I had no idea that that gorgeous little baby boy with the head full of fragrant dark brown hair would turn out to be who he is. I honestly couldn't have dreamed him better, but I have done my share of fighting God about some of the bents my son has. Understanding "train up a child in the way he should go" has been one of the best gifts homeschooling has given me! I had a pretty good idea about who I thought my oldest was going to be. You see, he's a lot like me and yet so completely himself...strong-willed, gifted, passionate, creative, AMAZING! Yet my aspirations for him almost lost his heart to me. Allow me to explain.

I have a degree in education but couldn't stand the thought of someone else teaching my son, much less being apart from him all day long. Still, I dutifully drove him to kindergarten every day that 1st year despite considering homeschooling since before his birth. When we moved just a couple miles up the road but out of city limits, the small town school would not let him finish out the 2 months left of this all important 1st year of school under the teacher he had come to love. I was furious and refused to start him in a new school in April! Thus began the journey that God had to coax me into a bit.

With that journey came all the "education" I received and my poor little blessing and 1st guinea pig got it alright. Three curriculums later (oh, yes three as I tried the gamut of textbook, literature, and activity based studies) he was reading well and becoming quite the little man. As my easy to teach one (I have the spectrum here, too!) I immediately began projecting ideas of grandeur concerning his educational and professional future. We lived in a rural setting, joined 4-H, and were very active in church. He excelled in archery, enjoyed guitar, and wanted a horse...my sweet little country boy! Then we started the private school.

A pre-baby dream of mine had been to start a Christian day-school. The concept was to have a half day of academics and a half day of practical country living/outdoor skills. Well, I had a few friends and church body members who had asked me over the years, in a half joking manner, if I would homeschool their children for them (heard that before !?) as they were single parents, the only able bodied provider of the family, or felt completely inadequate to homeschool their children. The dream and the need seemed to come together with the support of one such friend in particular when our church wanted us to start it there. To make a long story a little shorter, my beautiful son fell prey to older peers and a mom who was far to busy creating, administrating, and teaching a one-room schoolhouse with little or no help.

Now ladies, if I was homeschool advocate before, I am now a homeschool activist! When God finally brought me back home three years later, I was a different woman with different kids! My then 8 year old was relatively unscathed, but my 12 year old was wounded deeply. I have spent the last 2 1/2 years tending to his heart. Academics took care of themselves really, we are privileged to have such outstanding resources these days. But only his father and I with God's divine intervention could fix the wreckage.

I cannot truly say whether my oldest's interests have always been a part of who he is or were acquired to some degree in the tumult of peer pressure I threw him into, but I had actually voiced (do you believe it) that 2 things I would never allow my kids to do were rock & roll and skateboarding. Guess what...yep, he spends most of his free time practicing on his electric guitar or skateboarding. My cute little cowboy is now this handsome, super cool, artistic whirlwind of personality, creativity, and physical energy. I fought these things for a while, but God finally got through to me to share my heart with my son regarding why I was concerned about those 2 past-times in particular. Over the last 2 years we have talked through fashion, hairstyles, dating, reputations (we say 'labels'), culture and peer influence, and Who the standard to measure it all by is.

My hubby and I are getting much better and talking with our son rather than at or to him and he's had several opportunities out from under our wings at youth events and staying with friend or relatives to put into practice all we have learned together. Has he stumbled, of course, but these have been opportunities for us and him to see the weaknesses in his character and holes in our training that need to be addressed, prayed over, and strengthened. As my wonderful husband says, "the measure of a man is not in the mistakes that he makes, but in how he gets up". Accepting personal responsibility for his actions, gracefully enduring consequences, righting wrongs that can be, relying on God for discernment and strength...these have been some of the lessons of the heart that have transformed my son, me, our family, and our homeschool goals.

God truly does "work all things to the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose"! I believe that had the private school not happened I would have been a less flexible, attentive mom than I am now and my son's character would not have been tested and strengthened the way it has. As only God knows the beginning from the end, I've come to practically trust that He is better able to equip my children for their call in life if I am listening to Him, to them, and am teachable.

I pray that you will rest knowing that curricular choices are not as critical as the time you spend getting to know your kids, turning their hearts to their Creator, and going before the Lord for them. Take time to cuddle (my 14 year old still hugs and kisses me several times a day!) & relate everything throughout the day back to talking to God for help and fellowship (prayer), acknowledging that every big and little blessing is from Him (praise), and finding out all we need for life in His Word (practice)! You can't go wrong!

Happy Heartschooling!